Chapter Three - Banned from the Glockenspiel
I performed “Totentanz” with several youth orchestras starting in tenth grade. The list includes the Peter Meremblum Youth Orchestra (where I played principal percussion / keyboards); the CSUN Youth Orchestra Academy (principal percussion / keyboards); and the John Marshall High School Orchestra which was led by Robert Lippre, the Meremblum conductor (principal percussion / keyboards / LAUSD educated clarinet).
Mr. Lippre asked me to solo for both his orchestras. The Liszt was obviously a flashy, showy piece which was all the substance I needed. Because when I studied music in junior high and high school, did I really have a full understanding of who composers were and what the pieces were about?
No.
What you were supposed to be feeling and projecting?
Of course not. The internet did not exist yet.
There were not always program notes in the front of scores reduced for two pianos. Was I really going to look up Franz Liszt in the dictionary of composers we had laying around the house or in the Encyclopedia Britannica?
Not a chance. (I’m worried as I’m writing this portion that laziness might be a recurring theme.)
Look these composers and compositions up, young musicians! You have computers and iPhones now! Be better than me. It’s worth it and fascinating. Knowledge helps you get in Beethoven’s, Chopin’s, or Prokofiev’s brain; gives you keys to interpreting their pieces; and may even inspire great concepts for your own compositions.
For the CSUN orchestra, it was a different story. The conductor, Wes Kenney, wanted me to perform; however, thanks to the Board, I would have to compete in their brand new piano competition that was open to anyone in the State of California.
While I may have been big fish/little pond in high school, at the Colburn School, I most definitely fell in the middle, consistently placing second or third (or fifth or sixth) behind my friend and colleague, Wendy (more about her later), in all competitions. Well, Wendy wasn’t going to be competing in this one (because it was probably not prestigious enough for her), so I assumed I had this in the bag.
That is until a brilliant pianist, Maila, arrived at Colburn from the Philippines and entered the race.
Of course I lost, and I got to play tympani and glockenspiel as Maila dazzled with the Ravel Piano Concerto. I’m not sure if this piece was actually orchestrated with glock, but I pouted while ducking behind it in rehearsal, whacking a mallet on it several times in frustration. I hate Ravel! (Fine. I don’t hate Ravel.)
The next year, somehow Conductor Kenney convinced the Board to narrow the field. The entrants now had to be both a pianist and an active member of the orchestra. If I blew this, I’d be a laughing stalk. But I did not, and I had a triumphant solo debut with CSUN.
As an adult, I often wonder if my lack of competition wins boiled down to not playing beyond wanting to show off. And more importantly, wins and losses don’t matter in music.
Today, I’ve come to realize that music and art should be a collaborative and supportive art form.
Why do I love performing with other musicians? Not because I’m scared of the solo limelight, but because it feeds your artistry. Collaborative playing heightens your musical awareness.
I completely reject the notion of competitions for musicians at a young age. Know as you’re reading this book, if you compete, no matter where you “place”, you’ve won if you’ve done your best: practiced, researched, felt, emoted, and were as technically and passionately brilliantly as you could be at the time.
Furthermore, no matter how amazing you sound, know your performances and compositions will always continue to mature and evolve. Do that, and you’re always a winner.
Incidentally, Maila ended up at my high school in the orchestra. Being a pianist, she was automatically stuck in the percussion section. So yes, when I was asked to perform “Totentanz”, she had to play the triangle or wood block or something. But I will also note here that Maila did not need the glockenspiel. She was too classy for that.
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